Here is a special treat. This is Baby Monkey Mitch and Madonna. Baby Monkey Mitch is only 8 in this photo...isn't he cute?

It's Bozodonna! Clowns scare me. I have this phobia so I don't know if I would like to come across this while flicking through the cable channels late at night. First of all, notice that I called my fear of clowns a phobia. It's called coulrophobia or clownophobia. This is a real phobia that affects approximately 10 percent to 20 percent of the population - myself included. When they play Send in the Clowns, I go running.

This is a favorite submitted by Rob of SF. This is Precocious Clogger Madonna.

This is "Madonna Doesn't Live Here Anymore" by Paul. I like this one. I can see Madonna doing a sitcom. She did Will & Grace, why not Alice. Kiss my grits.

This is Adult Onset Diabetes Madonna. I like that Madonna looks so happy in this picture. Here, Madonna is clearly in her 50s, enjoying a relaxing Sunday bike ride in Hyde Park without being encumbered by her many bodyguards. As interest in Madonna has waned, she can be seen flowing in and out of her London neighborhood without notice and often without her pack of human attack dogs.

This is Swept Away Madonna. I love this one. It's a lot of fun to study so I'll leave it at that.

This is Wino Madonna given to us by Michael in SF. I see this as a chapter in Madonna's next VH1 Behind the Music special. From club scenester to cultural icon to mother (her most satisfying role yet), Madonna's moves are endlessly fascinating and sometimes tragic. Especially tragic is her most recent transformation into Wino Madonna. She's finally destroyed herself, drunk and bedraggled and curled up on the wretched streets of London. If there is to be any hope for Madonna, we must all try and love Madonna until she can, once again, love herself. WE LOVE YOU!

This is Vitiligo Madonna sent from San Francisco. This is what Michael Jackson might look like if he really had this disease.


Michael Jackson almost certainly suffers from some form of vitiligo, a condition which leads to loss of skin pigment. Indeed, he first met Debbie Rowe — his wife and the mother of his children — when she worked as a dermatology nurse and treated him in the early eighties. What remains unclear is whether Michael, in an effort to make the pallor of his skin uniform, used the bleaching agent Benoquin on the areas of his body not affected by vitiligo. On most sufferers, the effects of the disease look much patchier.

I don't think Madonna will do this look. I just don't think she's going to get her skin as even toned as Michael and she won't copy someone else unless she can improve on it in some way.

This is Moodonna from Mark in San Francisco. I hope Guy isn't lactose intolerant. I can see Moodonna doing Truth or Dare with mini-cones on each utter.

Whatever happend to baby Madonna? I think Joan is digging Jane's new look.

Ok..those last two were from me. Sorry, my scatological humour came forward and I couldn't hold it back. Now for Dancing-Cinn Madonna from Rob. I like this one. The colors are wonderful and the hair and facial expression makes for a perfect match with her up to her neck nutritionally emtpy white flour tutu. Dancing Cinnabon (670 calories/34 g fat) Madonna is perfect for her American Life number. This really epitomizes good eatin’ in America's many mall food courts.

Just to keep with the theme, I wanted to pull this last one out of my bag. I promise to move on to more palatable new looks tomorrow.

This one is really nasty but I have to post it. I'm excited to introduce to you Stool Pigeon Madonna.

Maybe this will generate some comments. These days a stool pigeon is an informer, but when the phrase first appeared—in the US in the 1830s or thereabouts—it meant a person used as a decoy to entice criminals into a trap. I can see using these during her Like a Virgin number. In her wedding dress, she'll release a dozen Stool Pigeon Madonna's into the air to fly out over the audience. It might be a little Gallagher for her fans. Maybe she'll provide large plastic covers for everyone. I'll still go...I don't care about a little poop.

Good Cod this is good. This is Alaskan Fish Cannery Madonna submitted by Rob in SF. You can earn up to $20K in just 3 months doing this kind of work. Thanks Rob from SF, this helps bring to light the issue of overfishing our oceans. An example: Off the coast of New England, cod were once so plentiful that boats had trouble pushing through them. Now the cod are nearly gone, and a centuries-old fishing tradition is ending because of overfishing. Like a Sturgeon was a famous parody of Like a Virgin. Here's the album cover.

WOW...Guess Madonna's New Look on Monkey Mitch had nearly 200 visits last week. I think we're onto something really BIG.

Here's the latest...this one's from me.
Black Death Madonna. In light of the seemingly inevitable bird flu pandemic looming on the horizon, the news media will be happy to know but unlikely to report that Madonna, along wiith Cher, will probably survive. As the media projects fear onto us all, that up to 100 million of us could die from the bird flu, it's comforting to know that Madonna will still be around. It's nice to see her back in the saddle so soon after her fall too. You go girl!

Hyperthyroidism Madonna. These are famous people who really have thyroid disease: Tipper Gore, Gail Devers, Rod Stewart, Kim Alexis, George and Barbara Bush, Joe Piscopo, and others. George and Barbara Bush have thyroid disease? I've read that the symptoms include memory loss. Does it also cause reproductive disorders, like giving birth to stupid ape-like power grasping offspring? Thank Rob from San Francisco.

Bread Theft Madonna. Back in Victorian times, you could be locked away with cold blooded killers for stealing a loaf of bread to feed your starving family. Well, we all know Madonna is not going hungry. Madonna's wealth is estimated at over $700 million.

Tod gives us Koons Madonna. Wow...the whole Koons thing can go on forever. Maybe someone can do a Michael Jackson with Monkey Mitch. Maybe Jeff will do it. Is Jeff Koons dead? Click the image to enlarge and count the face of madonna. I see five.

This one is from Paul is Oakland. This is "Master and Servant" or "I Dream of Madge" submitted by Paul. I don't think Guy is getting this good of treatment; any wish is her command? Maybe Guy would wish for a hit movie. This is kind of Madonna's last movie in reverse. Instead of being swept away, she's washing up on shore...not all washed up I hope.

Dorian Gray Madge
After years of saying it would never happen, I heard Madonna's seriously considering a facelift. Her reps are interviewing potential plastic surgeons in Britain and the U.S., selecting the most experienced. I've read that Two surgeons have visited her London home and she's expected to meet with others in New York. Additionally, she's consulting fertility doctors in hopes of having a third child. Well, if you had the body of a 30 year old...wouldn't you want the face to match? Ok...I'm waiting for multiple births madonna.

This is a good one. Madonna falls off horse. I don't think much explanation is needed for this one.

Here is the Guess Madonna's New Look pick for today. This is "food stamp Madonna." Madonna takes the kids shopping so they can pick out some special treats. Michael likes the fruit rolls and Guy wants the Power Rangers Sugar Puffs. It's tough being a Mom.